Tag Archives: responsive parenting

To mother. To all mothers


ddef8f5f5acf2cfbcca081d7147d25dd--mommy-quotes-mother-quotes“Mother is a verb. It is something you do. Not who you are”: it made me think of all those who mothered me.

My hubby who got me water when I collapsed from dehydration.

My kid who places her hand on my forehead to check whether I have fever.

My baker, who slides into my bag a little sweet surprise.

My swimming trainer who helped me overcome a childhood fear with just two words: “trust me”.

My cat waiting for me by the door to come back from my first trip abroad twenty years ago… His mothering ended at that, as stealing my breakfast remained his favourite game 🙂

Here is to all beings who mother each day, with gentle gestures, words of kindness and touches of love.

I’ll go now and mother someone.

Happy mothers day!

Children’s lawyer


When do we stop being our kids’ lawyers? And why?A

My friends know that no matter what I am a kids’ pro bono lawyer on a 24/24, seven days a week duty.

My colleague was upset. At his daycare, her four year son drew a picture of him in future. It was a black painting with couple of squares underneath and a sketch for a human being. „Shall I take this to a psychoanalyst?!”. She looked determined. Relieved she did not say “shrink”!

”Why?” I asked in dismay. „Have you asked him, your son, what he meant to draw?” . „Yes, in the morning”.

„And?”. „He told me the black was for the smoke from a huge fire, and the squares are firefighter trucks and the boy is him in the future, a firefighter!”.

„See, I told her, no need for a psychoanalyst. All you need is to ask him. And I think he is altruistic, concerned about others’ needs, generous and used black/bold to draw attention to danger.”

There was a momentary mental shift in her head, on this occasion at least, I hope.

Children give back what they get or they raise above. Have no expectations of them being our lawyers in due time, if we have not exemplified this role ourselves.

My child is very quick in ordering her father to kiss me. The other day, he asked her to tell me to kiss him.  She made a gesture saying there is nothing I can do 🙂

My toddler = my mentor


I learned to look at my self through her eyes, in awe of the beauty of the human face.

I embrace my grey hair, as I know life continues through her and it unfolds in many shapes and colours.

I rediscovered the green freshness of grass barefoot. I dance like no one is watching.

I can now throw a tantrum at a non-collaborating colleague, for a mirror effect and smile in triumph that it works!

I take no pride in my achievements: her first steps with a naturally humble expression taught me that.

I relearned to invent unheard of explanations for things and events, which otherwise are defined by dullness. „Why don’t you clear the payment for this consultant?” asked my supervisor. „Well, his fascinating report requires and deserves much more time to be processed and understood” (much better than „his report is a waist of time, money and paper” aha!).

I laugh until it hurts. All of it: my cheeks, my tummy. I laugh in spite of expression lines, which I feared before.

One does not need to wait for a birthday once a year. We sing “Happy Birthday” every time we want, when we want and how many times we want, regardless of the calendar.

The best jewelry are her harms around my neck, while my jewelry are her toys.

I learned to see the beauty in sh…ty situations: “Look, my poop looks like a tower…./ a sea horse!”.

I get the best parts in her imaginary plays: one day I am a princess, the other day I am “Her majesty, the queen” or a butterfly …

I reach new heights of creativity: try to invent a bed time story on demand. It needs to have a sconces and a meteorite which fell on dinosaurs as main characters.

I learned to laugh loud about a snoring, which was such an annoyance before.

I join her in throwing toys around the house for a decor to make the best designers bite their nails.

I learned the combine ingredients for a meal that not only taste good but also looks like a piece of art: art nouveau, post-impressionist, cubism… you name it.

I enjoy now every park, every tree, every leaf……….

All come with a deep sense of gratitude for every step we take together on a journey of life, with love to share.


Each night as I tuck covers around them
and bend to kiss their sweet, sleepy faces,
I don’t care that they used
all the silverware in the garden.

Let’s fill the house with angels,
I whisper to my husband
as I slip between the sheets.

I learned to Sware

by Pam Vap, with love

P.S. Politicians too can benefit from guidance from little persons: Photo: UNICEF. Sfefan Fule, Commissioner responsible for the enlargement and neighbourhood