Tag Archives: mentor

My Horse Lessons

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The year of the horse is almost gone. It may stay a bit longer though, if I stick to the Chinese calendar. It was more of a herd year. It brought plenty. It had the grace of a Friesian horse. It had the strength of a Belgian draft horse. It had the speed of a racing horse. It had the lightness of a Paso Fino. It was a year of learning. Both academic and life learning.???????????????????????????????????????????????????

I learned about the healing power of forgiveness through one phone call I learned the happiness of ignoring the buzz. Both internal and external. More they tried, more ignorant I became. Oh, glorious ignorance.

I learned that a mentor is very much human. He can make mistakes an apprentice would not make and he can still stay my mentor.

I learned that pretty anyone can be a mentor, as the experienced barista at my favorite coffee shop smiles at his new colleague’s clumsiness.

I learned that even after 10 years people in civil service go back to what I’ve written for them back then and find it helpful (although this makes me worried about their progress :).

I learned that appreciation comes at most unexpected times and colleagues’ prize for “best coach and support of others” in the organisation are best given in absentia. To my highest delight though.

I learned that a graffiti Christmas tree on a flipchart is best decorated by post-it notes each member of the team writes their wishes on.

I am more environment conscious now. I learned the joy of one item for breakfast.

I learned to enjoy four times less cloths orders this year compared to last year.

I learned that people whom I admire share my admiration to tears of joy.

I learned that my partner is a better lover year after year.

I learned that my child and I can have the same dream and share it in the morning.

I learned that blessing others brings peace to all.

I learned to say goodbye just to say hello to something else the minute after.

I learned the value of a place where my coffee cup waits for me. Always.

I relearned the joy of organizing parties: Butterflies Fairy party in Winter, Strawberry party in Spring, Ratatouille cooking party in Late Summer, Bowling and Art party in Fall….

I learned that a stranger can grow into calling me “mom”.

I learned that a stranger can grow into calling me a “gift”.

I learned to allow myself to feel and let go.

I learned the power of No. With a big smile.

I learned the power of stillness.

I learned the power of vulnerability.

I rejoiced in the thought of what the power of No, the power of stillness and the power of vulnerability can do.

I started to be around only people who love and support me. Reciprocity creates magic.

I learned that confidence comes from fearlessness. Fearlessness comes from faith. Faith comes from freedom.

I hope I was a good life student. I am ready for more. I want to know more. I want to learn to play chess. I want to learn to dance like a pro. I want to learn to swim. I want to do more to help others. I want to explore my 21 year old sexuality. I want to discover the world with my children. I want to prosper in building lasting memories for my loved ones. I want to embrace minimalism; a day a week without consumption is my first small step. I want to learn to heal through compassion. I am open to everything Life brings. Only the best comes my way. These are not New Year’s resolutions. Or maybe they are 🙂

My toddler = my mentor

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I learned to look at my self through her eyes, in awe of the beauty of the human face.

I embrace my grey hair, as I know life continues through her and it unfolds in many shapes and colours.

I rediscovered the green freshness of grass barefoot. I dance like no one is watching.

I can now throw a tantrum at a non-collaborating colleague, for a mirror effect and smile in triumph that it works!

I take no pride in my achievements: her first steps with a naturally humble expression taught me that.

I relearned to invent unheard of explanations for things and events, which otherwise are defined by dullness. „Why don’t you clear the payment for this consultant?” asked my supervisor. „Well, his fascinating report requires and deserves much more time to be processed and understood” (much better than „his report is a waist of time, money and paper” aha!).

I laugh until it hurts. All of it: my cheeks, my tummy. I laugh in spite of expression lines, which I feared before.

One does not need to wait for a birthday once a year. We sing “Happy Birthday” every time we want, when we want and how many times we want, regardless of the calendar.

The best jewelry are her harms around my neck, while my jewelry are her toys.

I learned to see the beauty in sh…ty situations: “Look, my poop looks like a tower…./ a sea horse!”.

I get the best parts in her imaginary plays: one day I am a princess, the other day I am “Her majesty, the queen” or a butterfly …

I reach new heights of creativity: try to invent a bed time story on demand. It needs to have a sconces and a meteorite which fell on dinosaurs as main characters.

I learned to laugh loud about a snoring, which was such an annoyance before.

I join her in throwing toys around the house for a decor to make the best designers bite their nails.

I learned the combine ingredients for a meal that not only taste good but also looks like a piece of art: art nouveau, post-impressionist, cubism… you name it.

I enjoy now every park, every tree, every leaf……….

All come with a deep sense of gratitude for every step we take together on a journey of life, with love to share.

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Each night as I tuck covers around them
and bend to kiss their sweet, sleepy faces,
I don’t care that they used
all the silverware in the garden.

Let’s fill the house with angels,
I whisper to my husband
as I slip between the sheets.

I learned to Sware

by Pam Vap, with love

P.S. Politicians too can benefit from guidance from little persons: Photo: UNICEF. Sfefan Fule, Commissioner responsible for the enlargement and neighbourhood

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My baby = my mentor

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So it happened that there were always excellent mentors in my life, at each stage, or at each important step I had to make. None however equals my baby, in her pure, prejudice-free wisdom.

I rediscovered my inner child. Who needed some serous healing. I was not even aware of the pain I was caring. Looking at my childhood through my baby’s eyes was a breakthrough experience, one of the kind. My baby met my inner child and they became dear friends. So, all is well.

I learned about detached attachment.  “Oops my knee hurts”, I would say. My baby will say in response ‘yes it hurts, but in a moment’. “If you really have to go to work, then go’ and she will wave good bye holding back her tears.

I relearned to change perspectives and move on without vexating for ages on an issue. I was upset and angered with the quality of refurbishing works, my baby was running happily around with no care or concern for uneven corners, small glue spots on wall paper, painted ceiling… All my baby needs is space, with no concern for who has not performed up to the contract.

I relearned the freedom of un-biased communication. My medical records stated that was a very social child. Something happening to that child in the mean time: family, kinder garden, school…. . Now both of us talk to everything and everybody. At the zoo, there was a monkey staring at us so I started talking to him and expressing my appreciation for all its abilities: the way it climbed, jumped, sharing his banana with me… well the result was a bit beyond pure joy of human to primates communication ….it exhibited to us all of its manhood :).  Luckily my baby has not captured it or I would have had otherwise to respond to her demanding ‘whys’ and this is not a topic I’ve done my research on yet :).

The list is not be complete without expressions of creativity on the living room wall :),  splashing, bubble making, laughing for no particular reason, dancing in the rain, staring with fascination at a bug in action, singing “I’am a happy, happy rabbit’ all day long…. .

I realized my ability to learn and relearn depends totally on me. On my openness and candor. All I had to do is to open my heart and let go.

They say a parent gets a second birthday on his/her child birth day. It’s only up to us to make most of it, with love…. and scented bubbles!