Tag Archives: Diana Loomans

Sep19

Back to school. Oh dear

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The School year restarted. So did a myriad of complaints. Parents complaints. And then we are surprised kids complain. And by the way “they have no reason to complain”, the parents say in one voice.

After hearing so many parents complain, I remembered about the wonderful book What All Children Want Their Parents to know: 12 Keys to raising a Happy Child by Diana Loomans. One these keys is “Leave your Values”.book

If there would be a championship of complaining, I would probably also get a prize, if not a medal of some sort. It is so much easier to complain then to acknowledge and appreciate for the human brain. We still can:

Appreciate that kids can go to school (I’ll not bring in the numbers of children around the world who do not attend school as they become family providers very early in life).

Acknowledge that a person invested in career of a school teacher, which is fun, if you are high everyday.

Appreciate the neural connections that form in the child’s brain, even if we know the mantra “the school prepares the kids for the jobs of yesterday and not tomorrow”.

Acknowledge your kid’s efforts and aspirations, struggles and successes, friendships and relationships ups and downs, etc.

Appreciate your role as a parent, who lives his/her values.

Acknowledge that school is important, but more important and life lasting is your relationship with your child, when the results on the evaluation sheets perhaps do not meet your expectations.

And have a slice of cake, or two, together to celebrate every school week 🙂 It works like magic.

Oct31

Young stars’ twilight

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On a facebook post, a mother complained that her five years old daughter cried upon watching a young stars’ TV show. Her distress came from the thought that she is fatter than those girls dancing on the stage. There were comments asking for the show to be closed down…

There will always be trends. Skinny vs. voluptuous. Tall vs. petite. Dark vs. blonde… . Or other manifestations of socially acceptable standards and ‚shows’ one cannot possibly compete with. Or, better said, should not compete with. As it is about that uniqueness each of us is conceived with.

To me, it gets down to self-esteem and sense of worth. High or Low. It is up to parents/guardians to nurture a healthy self-esteem, whatever the circumstances and regardless of trends and/or shows on display. “Children with healthy self-esteem will grow up to revel in others, in turn helping them feel special and whole”, What All Children Want Their Parents To Know, by Diana Loomans. It’s a five star book on a To Read List for parents. Each person, and kids are no exception, are to be “The Lovable in the Kindgom of Self-Esteem” (a renowned title by Diana Loomans).

Self-esteem is nothing new. The absence of teaching of self-respect and self-assertion has been described by George Bernard Shaw in Treatise on Parents and Children (1914) as having ‚appalling effects”. And that mother’s post is a testimony to that, one hundred years later.

Self-esteem creates a mental safety net regardless of the storm outside. The self-esteem allows stars to shine regardless of the twilight. It does not matter if your parents were ignorant or unaware or with a poor self-esteem themselves. If you did not have a choice back then, you do have a choice now: to build and nurture your and your children’s self-esteem. With Love and Patience.