The best advice from a teacher in ” The storyteller’s secret” by Sejal Badani:
“I will also advise that when they travel in their stories, they respect the people they meet and the values they hold. Their way of life is not for us to judge but our opportunity to learn. And to never forget that when you offer a hand of respect, you will in turn be welcomed.”
integrity (n.)
from Latin integritatem (nominative integritas) “soundness, wholeness, completeness,” figuratively “purity, correctness, blamelessness”
When you go back to the origin of words, things come sometimes into a long forgotten perspective.
What is integrity actually? How does it manifest? What kind of behaviour a person with integrity displays?
From my observations and writings by smarter people, integrity has a number of positive behavioural traits:
Humility: there is no pride, no sense of competition, no desire to prove anything or to anyone.
Kindness: a person acting with integrity will treat a CEO and a janitor with the same kindness.
Authenticity: there is no mask. Integrity has nothing to hide.
Reliability: you can always rely on people with integrity.
Honesty: integrity is open and truthful.
It’s about giving credit: integrity does not claim what is not hers.
Always on time: people with integrity respect your time and their own time.
Integrity will never offend: even under the cover of an anonymous on-line account.
Integrity is open minded and also knows when not to change its mind.
Integrity places an emphasis on emotional intelligence more than on IQ.
Integrity knows when and how to apologise. People with integrity know they are only human and keep themselves in check.
Integrity keeps its promise. People with integrity will be there for you, if they said so.
Integrity is intuitive and will not let harsh calculations have a decisive say.
Integrity will not take advantage of others vulnerabilities.
Integrity knows a hammer is not only for nails. It is also a sculpture’s tool.
Integrity serves. It does not wait to be served.
Integrity has a great sense of humour and can LOL about itself.
Integrity results in accountability. If we act with integrity in all walks of life from parenting to interacting with colleagues and partners, the world has a change of becoming a better place.
When you think of it, when integrity is in place, harassment, discrimination, fraud, humiliation, deprivation and others stand NO chance.
My father said that I do not even know from which end to hold a ladle, hinting to my cooking skills (or rather their absence, in his view).
My grandmother never said anything. She always looked at me with eyes full of admiration and faith.
Today is 8 March and a part of humanity suddenly remembers to promote, cherish, congratulate women. As if they say “I see you”. Does it make a difference? Perhaps. For flower shops in some countries it certainly does.
“I see you” everyday, day after day, is different. It requires effort and commitment.
“I see you, my talented, brave and beautiful daughter”
“I see you, mother of six, battling for your and your kids safety and sanity”
“I see you, orphan girl, struggling to find yourself into this new world”
“I see you, policewoman, holding the hand of a troubled street kid”
“I see you, single mother, fearing for your and your kid’s future”
“I see you, cleaning lady, pushing the cart on our office floor”
“I see you, human being”
This day is to me the day of those who see and help women, girls and boys, who would otherwise remain unseen on this day, or any other day.
Like this story and so many other http://www.md.undp.org/content/moldova/en/home/stories/femeia-care-viseaz-s-poat-cumpra-case-pentru-toate-supravieuitoa.html
Matilda approached her long chair on the beach. A man stood by, checking his mobile. Or, rather, pretending to.
– Hm, that’s my seat, he said.
– No, she replied.
– Oh, I thought you are attracted to me and chose this chaise long, he put on a smile.
“Here we go”, she thought, “a pick up line”.
Matilda laid down on her chaise longue, a 200 page report in her hands.
He sat down on a chair nearby and launched into his scenario.
– What’s your name?
– Matilda. Yours?
– Liham. Where are you from?
– The poorest country on this continent, she said.
– Oh, I know Cristina Smth. She exports luxury goods to your country.
As if she was supposed to know all Cristinas in exports.
– There are beautiful girls there, he sticks to his lines. I traveled to O. with a friend last year. He wanted a beautiful girl.
– And not too smart, preferably. Matilda just could not help it.
– And smart too, he had to adapt his lines. But I was not looking for girls. I was in love at that time. Broke apart though recently.
“Aren’t’ we all in love!?”, Matilda thought to herself, with sarcasm.
– I live in France now, she said, to see what else he has in his arsenal of lines. I am married.
– So what?, he exclaimed and kept it faithfully to his lines: I am French. But I travelled a lot. I am open-minded. I could be your lover.
He was really in love with his learned lines, so he continued:
– I am attracted to you. Your body. I like petites. I like to dominate in bed.
– It is an illusion you have, she spoiled his lines. Again.
Confusion on his face.
– You think “petites” is by definition “obedient”. Obéissantes. It is an illusion, she repeats.
– You have brain, he looked her up and down.
“Probably my brain is all over my body”, she thought.
– A No is a “No”, she said.
Five seconds pause. His plan B had to come to rescue.
– Do you believe in God? he asked.
– You ask because of this? Matilda touched her small cross pendant with a diamond. It is a gift from my husband.
– You are smart and fast. You do in life what you like. You are married and in love…. He stood up and handed over his business card to her. Call me. In ten years, maybe.
He marched to the sea and jumped into cool water.
“Who has business cards on the beach, in beach attire only”? Matilda was amused.
Couple of minutes later, Liham met his friends on the beach and mentioned to them that he leaves for Paris in the evening. Just loud enough so that Matilda can overhear.
Next morning, there was a sign on the door: “pardon us”. It was on the door next to Matilda’s hotel room.
Before the trip, her husband playfully warned her “careful with the guys there!” : “Darling, men come there accompanied by girls twice younger. Or, if they come alone, an army of skilled huntresses is after them. I cannot compete with either.”
After her encounter on the beach she thought: “oh, there is a third breed – beach hunters for love”.
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in itsown way” (“A gentleman in Moscow” Amor Towels)
Same seems to be true about individuals.
Me, swimming in the pool:
– Oh, il y a un marché! (Oh, there is a market!), looking down.
– Ah, oui, il y a une marche (ah, yes, there is a stairstep), replied my trainer amused. Again.
Today, Sunday, is International Day to end violence against women.
Tweets abounds. Posts are liked and shared. Declarations are made.
On Monday, Maria, Mary, Miriam will endure again. Maybe even this very same Sunday. The perpetrators were unaware about the International Day. So, were Maria, Mary, Miriam. And so were their children.
I can hear proponents say “But at least it’s marked and talked about”. Indeed, we talk about it. Talking is not enduring. Yesterday, today, every day, before and after 25 November.
The safety of vulnerable and freedom from violence against any human being shall be a daily affair. Not a yearly event. I also believe it is Everyone’s daily affair. The family’s affair, neighbors affair, the school’s affair, the church affair, the community’s affair…
