– Look at my back. It’s a question mark!
My sixty something dearest friend in her early retirement months is doing a self assessment of her forty something career behind a desk. 

Her question was more about the point. Not the posture. What was the point of a rounded upper back she developed sitting behind a desk? Formally, she was a seniour civil servant who outlived (office time wise) dozens of ministers and deputy ministers. Personally, she is a mother of two and a granny of 3. She has been married to the same guy, who still makes her laugh, for 45 years. 

Throughout her career she has been offered numerous top positions. She constantly declined. She was well too aware of the costs. That kept her head clear and down to earth. The earth of her family. Top positions would have brought her all the perks promised by her benefactors. She also knew they would have taken her away from her family. Her backbone.  

Ministers are gone, policies are enacted and changed, re-enacted and changed again.  Her family is there with her, for her. She is there with them, for them. Her spine line might not be perfect. But her backbone is perfectly aligned to her source of hapinness.  

Women struggle with family-work balance. We read more and more about it. Striking the right balance is a choice. With consequences in each case. It’s not always linear. Some choices are more fulfilling than others. Some choices are more fulfilling in some life periods than others. Once women are kind to themselves the balance is there. I only caught a glimpse of that. Thank you, dearest friend!  Ask me more.