Monthly Archives: December 2014

My Horse Lessons


The year of the horse is almost gone. It may stay a bit longer though, if I stick to the Chinese calendar. It was more of a herd year. It brought plenty. It had the grace of a Friesian horse. It had the strength of a Belgian draft horse. It had the speed of a racing horse. It had the lightness of a Paso Fino. It was a year of learning. Both academic and life learning.???????????????????????????????????????????????????

I learned about the healing power of forgiveness through one phone call I learned the happiness of ignoring the buzz. Both internal and external. More they tried, more ignorant I became. Oh, glorious ignorance.

I learned that a mentor is very much human. He can make mistakes an apprentice would not make and he can still stay my mentor.

I learned that pretty anyone can be a mentor, as the experienced barista at my favorite coffee shop smiles at his new colleague’s clumsiness.

I learned that even after 10 years people in civil service go back to what I’ve written for them back then and find it helpful (although this makes me worried about their progress :).

I learned that appreciation comes at most unexpected times and colleagues’ prize for “best coach and support of others” in the organisation are best given in absentia. To my highest delight though.

I learned that a graffiti Christmas tree on a flipchart is best decorated by post-it notes each member of the team writes their wishes on.

I am more environment conscious now. I learned the joy of one item for breakfast.

I learned to enjoy four times less cloths orders this year compared to last year.

I learned that people whom I admire share my admiration to tears of joy.

I learned that my partner is a better lover year after year.

I learned that my child and I can have the same dream and share it in the morning.

I learned that blessing others brings peace to all.

I learned to say goodbye just to say hello to something else the minute after.

I learned the value of a place where my coffee cup waits for me. Always.

I relearned the joy of organizing parties: Butterflies Fairy party in Winter, Strawberry party in Spring, Ratatouille cooking party in Late Summer, Bowling and Art party in Fall….

I learned that a stranger can grow into calling me “mom”.

I learned that a stranger can grow into calling me a “gift”.

I learned to allow myself to feel and let go.

I learned the power of No. With a big smile.

I learned the power of stillness.

I learned the power of vulnerability.

I rejoiced in the thought of what the power of No, the power of stillness and the power of vulnerability can do.

I started to be around only people who love and support me. Reciprocity creates magic.

I learned that confidence comes from fearlessness. Fearlessness comes from faith. Faith comes from freedom.

I hope I was a good life student. I am ready for more. I want to know more. I want to learn to play chess. I want to learn to dance like a pro. I want to learn to swim. I want to do more to help others. I want to explore my 21 year old sexuality. I want to discover the world with my children. I want to prosper in building lasting memories for my loved ones. I want to embrace minimalism; a day a week without consumption is my first small step. I want to learn to heal through compassion. I am open to everything Life brings. Only the best comes my way. These are not New Year’s resolutions. Or maybe they are 🙂

The happiness of stillness


“Is this a new form of torture?!” screams my brain. “Would you like it to be”, my consciousness responds. “Move, go, jump, …. do something!”, my brain is relentless.
“No”, my consciousness is unimpressed.stillness600

The power of No is salvatory.
Stillness is gaining ground. Over my fingers. Over my eyes. Over my shoulders. Over my mind. Over my blood. Over my resistance. Over my fears. Over my dreams. Over my fights. Over my peace. I am all hers. We are one. An inner smile embraces my body, my heart, my soul.

Yet, the rebellion is about to restart. My brain is awake, in the awe of the power of stillness. “She is mine”, it wants to scream. But stillness is there. A super active brain is silenced by its presence. The brain, apologetically, gets into the sweetest Hello Kitty mode and surrenders to stillness. It baths in stillness. It plunges into its depth just to discover that stillness has no depth. It inhales its beauty with love and gratitude.
“I am home. We are one”.

With gratitude for inspiration “The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness” by Claudia and James Altucher.

Why I don’t post anything on-line about my child


This has been on my mind for sometime. by Adam Hall was my muse. Thank you, ! Safety and Privacy first It’s a public space out there. My facebook timeline has the miraculous way of getting from “custom control” to a default in the blink of an eye. Should I want full exposure, I would remove my home walls and build glass ones. It might be a bit of a rough comparison, but the effects are kind of similar. Pervert behaviour finds an easily accessible place to flourish. Annoyed by a stranger trying to get to talk to your child on the street? It might be a facebook friend who knows so much about you and your family from regular posts and photos. Do I want to enjoy my life and parenting? I live it in present. I look into my child’s eyes. Letting strangers and facebook friends look into your kid’s eyes is irrelevant to his/her growth and your parenting experience. Joy Comparison is the thief of joy, they say. Rightly so and especially so when it comes to my bundle of joy. “Is she already” doing this/that? “Has he not yet” done this/ that? Millions of pictures, posts and comments on babies, kids, parents. Why subject myself and my child to such an infinite amount of scrutiny and pressure? My timeline events are in my hearts, family photos and albums, my children’s memories. These are just priceless and foremost – scrutiny and judgement free. Networking/Support groups Maybe. Maybe not. Plenty of studies out there finding quite the opposite. A warm handshake, a shoulder to lean on, a quiet talk have not yet been removed from the definition of human support and interaction. Like-s and rushed comments on a post pale by comparison. We live in here and in now. Our present thoughts and actions form our future. Do we want it meaningful or virtual? I know my response 🙂