Eva picked up the phone and said “yes”. It was the first time in three years she answered her mother’s call. She needed three years to heal her inner child of past abuses. Her mother called once a year, usually before her birthday, usually with new demands on top of usual demands. Eva was calm. Her heart rates – stable. Her mother was hysterical. “Come to me” she pleaded in a command-control emotional tone. “Do you think this will make me want to come?”, answered her daughter. “I do not know what else to do”, said her mother. “Maybe if you see that this is not working, you should stop pursuing it?”, Eva responded. Whining followed. “You can call me back when you calm down”, said Eva calmly and respectfully. Her mother called back in 30 minutes to say that she was fired and lost the case in court and wants her lawyer daughter to look into the case and remedy it. Eva said she will find a lawyer to help her, the same way she did it for any of her friends in legal trouble. And she did find a good lawyer. To Eva this conversation was an echo from a past life. A life she left behind through a rebirth. She healed her bleeding childhood through homeopathy, counseling, yoga, meditation, books and research, ups and downs until she reached the bliss of forgiveness and inner peace. Psychologists use the term “post-traumatic growth” to describe people who are changed for the better by a traumatic event, and it is both an outcome and a process, as explained by Richard Tedeschi, a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte for Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/16/parental-estrangement_n_4317550.html . We go through life creating new families, learning from them and moving on ( “The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness” by James Altucher and Claudia Azula Altucher). Eva is christian and the story of Jesus attending a wedding resonates with her: Jesus’ s mother and brother waited outside to see him. He let them wait and made it clear to the apostles that “you are my family now”. Eva congratulated herself for such a mature reaction. Her role of a mindful parent now was more important than succumbing to traps of a life, which is in the past. A past put to rest. For good. Everyone’s good. “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.” Regina Brett
I was looking into my mirror and wondered where is the feminine me. My brain was getting busy with creating new mantras and recycling old ones: “you need to do something about it. An enhancement here, a change there, more colour here, less weight here, more weight there, a different shape size here and there….what are you waiting for?!”. Wrong upper lips form, suboptimal bra size, biggest muscle getting bigger, wrong hair length, less than desirable knee appearance, short legs, small wrinkles conquering new territories – have they been on a Russian military invasion training compound?!
Good brain. Always diagnosis-focused and action-minded. But, thank you, no thank you, dear brain, you can take a break now from your usual mantras. Why? you may wonder.
It is a fashion show. What?! i hear you saying. It was not just any fashion show. A one of a kind. It was a Dare Social Fashion Show in Chisinau. It was one where the beauty and love met to unleash the most feminine qualities that can ever exist.
When beauty and love met on that catwalk, they procreated melting hearts, blossoming spirits, eyes beatified with tears of joy.
16 female role models, in wheel chairs, supported by male models, walking with difficulty but with an immense dignity and such a joy of life that silenced in one second my brain’s mantras. Their each step was inspiring by their genuine stories and the glory of the stage they reached. All sixteen of them embodied acceptance, gratitude and peace.
Each step on that catwalk remained moulded in my brain in slow motion just to attest again and again that there are no limits but our own limitations. Suddenly, my hair is fine, my knees are beautiful, my body is gorgeous, my face is just perfect. Suddenly, my annoying back pain disappeared, my complaints succumbed to acceptance, gratitude and peace.
The audience gave the models a long, standing ovation. To honor in a small way the womanhood and pay a small tribute to eternal queens of embodied peace and beauty, which had nothing to do with physical appearance and everything to do with hearts and souls of shining freedom from any human limitations.
We were there to help fulfill their dreams. They fulfilled ours.
Can you see the rainbow?
The event was created by Nati Vozian in Chisinau, 2014.
All photos http://dare.md/
This year the designer Carrie Hammer’s debuted in February this year with a first-ever model in a wheelchair featured at New York Fashion Week. Her name is Danielle Sheypuk. More on http://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2014/feb/14/model-wheelchair-new-york-fashion-week