On a facebook post, a mother complained that her five years old daughter cried upon watching a young stars’ TV show. Her distress came from the thought that she is fatter than those girls dancing on the stage. There were comments asking for the show to be closed down…
There will always be trends. Skinny vs. voluptuous. Tall vs. petite. Dark vs. blonde… . Or other manifestations of socially acceptable standards and ‚shows’ one cannot possibly compete with. Or, better said, should not compete with. As it is about that uniqueness each of us is conceived with.
To me, it gets down to self-esteem and sense of worth. High or Low. It is up to parents/guardians to nurture a healthy self-esteem, whatever the circumstances and regardless of trends and/or shows on display. “Children with healthy self-esteem will grow up to revel in others, in turn helping them feel special and whole”, What All Children Want Their Parents To Know, by Diana Loomans. It’s a five star book on a To Read List for parents. Each person, and kids are no exception, are to be “The Lovable in the Kindgom of Self-Esteem” (a renowned title by Diana Loomans).
Self-esteem is nothing new. The absence of teaching of self-respect and self-assertion has been described by George Bernard Shaw in Treatise on Parents and Children (1914) as having ‚appalling effects”. And that mother’s post is a testimony to that, one hundred years later.
Self-esteem creates a mental safety net regardless of the storm outside. The self-esteem allows stars to shine regardless of the twilight. It does not matter if your parents were ignorant or unaware or with a poor self-esteem themselves. If you did not have a choice back then, you do have a choice now: to build and nurture your and your children’s self-esteem. With Love and Patience.