Infidelity is thrill, butterflies in the stomach, drive, excitment, sense of living on the edge, adrenaline … for those involved.

It has collateral damage however. Often overlooked. Most of the time overloooked by those involved. No judgement attached. Only sadness.

Infidelity may cost a child a mother:

She engaged in an affair. She was thrilled by the attention of a man she saw as ideal. An ideal she throught she does not have at home. She decided it’s time for her to please herself. Through another man. A married man. Her child was totally unware. It was her child’s graduation period. The child was overwhelmed by pressure from exams and pressure to look for a job. When the husband found out about the affair, he spilled all his anger and frustration on their child. The child became an advocate for her mother. She trully believed she had her reasons … . Later in life, the child revisited the situation only to understand that she has been put in a position she should have never been put in. She understood she lost her parents back then. She grieved and let it go. Life was generous to her and she met three exceptional ladies who treated her as a daughter.

Infidelity may cost a company a profitable contract:

She studied him. He was the  team leader. He had a blog and a very active presence on social networks, which made him an easy target to study and manipulate. He was happily married for 12 years, with three kids. She was married for 10 years, with a child. She wanted to advance her career. No matter what. She flirted with him. Kept him in suspance. Made halucinating offers of illusory freedom. He became tense, his work trashy. She slept with him. She became a deputy team leader. He entered a stage of zombism. She ruled it all. Except for the donor and the beneficiary. They disliked it and asked for a decision from the implementing company. The implementeing company saw no conflict of interest: ‚people get into relationships all the time’ was the stance. The contract was cut by 14 months. The company is now -3,000,000 Euro.

Infidelity may cost a life

They were married for 35 years with a 32 year old daughter. On their 35th aniversary she finds out by accident that he has a child of 25 with another woman with whom he has been in contact over the last year. ‚remorse’ he said made him look and find her after 25 years of total silence and absense from that child’s life. The wife asked him to stop immediately the communication or at least make it on  more open terms, not behind her back. He agreed but continued to immerse even deeper in a double life. In 5 months he had a heart attack – in 30 minutes he was gone. The corroner was amazed – his heart was literaly split in two.

Thrilling as it seems, infidelity is an endeavour to enter into with a well done home work.

Is it worth it? From whose point of view? And for how long? Would it make people involved better?

It may be an open door, but to what ? a happier, a wealthier, a richer life?