I am one quarter done with ‚My name is Red’ by Orhan Pamuk (part of my committment to read all Nobel Prize writers). I think is the first Turkish author I read and it appeals to my previous oriental lives. It’s the best ‚walk in my shoes’ perspective I came across so far. Particularly because there are so many different and diverse narrators: a corpse, a coin, dervishes, colour red… . Try to look at something from a coin point of view and it may be such an enlightening experience :).

So back to infidels. To islam these are christians. To christians these are muslims. Let see how far a dictionery would take an infidel. So, an infidel is a unbeliever, a sceptic, a heretic, an agnositc, a heathen, a nonconformist, a freethinker.

Is a cheating parners an infidel? From his/her point of view he/she is a freethinker and freedoer maybe.  An emancipated person! A free spirit! I was very much amused by the buzz around divorce news of a high level politician in a country I am working at the moment.  A new trend has been set, with calls for freeing people from marriages ‘declared dead for some time’. These became heroes on social networks. Applauded for steeping out of orthodox patterns. Freeing themselves and freeing others, for what ever reason and for what ever costs.

I ask myself if ending a marriage is a duty in the name of search for oneself? Why are then these searches end up with 2-3 or even 4 divorces? or is a divorce an attempt to escape from the true nature of oneself? Is the answer in the other? Is the answer in our own ways, looks, spirits, hearts? Is the other one to blame for keeping his/her partner in a marriage for the sake of social conventions, children or simly of ‚what would others say”? I would say yes, if from the very beginning these were reasons to get married. Often young ladies would tell me they want to get married (I am not a matchmaker and truly try to avoid that, but for some reason they keep coming to me :)). When asked ‚why’, they do not know or respond with one of the above – „my mother says so’, ;what would people say if I am not married by age of’ …

Taking sides and making affirmation on behalf of those divorcing is a tricky business. Even they may not know the answer. It may come from the pillow at the end of their lives on Earth. If ever.

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