Every time I log out of yahoo.mail, my screen ‘indulges’ on “10 ways to be a perfect somebody”, ’10 ways to lose weight’, ‘7 ways to enjoy your job’, ‘ 9 ways to fell in love again’, ‘9 fights to have with your partner’ (my favourite!) and so on and so forth.
Oh really!? These ‘ways’ give the impression that everything and everybody on earth can get organised around same ways. Don’t they say ‘kids do not come with an instruction manual’? Does a partner come with a user guide? Does a job description mean that everybody does exactly the same thing with the same approach? Does weight has the same origin and cause in every Body? Why would any reasonable human being would want to be ‘a perfect somebody’, especially if on the list of ‘ways’ there is usually a rule number one: ‘be yourself” 🙂
I lived for a while in a totalitarian regime. Tired and sick of having ways set for everybody by somebody. And, is it only me, or every time along a ‘ways’ list there is a publicity of a certain sort?: magic potion to lose weight, a promise of a better job if you enter a competition of some sort, etc.
Bottom line: we are All Unique. Special. Distinctive. No need for ‘ways’ set by others. We All have our own ways, special ways. That do not fit into recipe-style methods.
Couple of years ago I came across a theory of a Russian author, Vadim Zeeland, a quantum mechanics physicist, who captured this uniqueness with a special emotional detachment. His theory of pendulum is basically about events or situations – she calls ‘pendulum’ – which draw our attention and trigger an emotional reaction. Pendulums benefit from these emotional responses: higher our emotional responses, energetically stronger pendulums, and weaker personal lives. There are, of course, positive pendulums: those who deliver joy, e.g. a winning soccer team, making love, successful completion of an endeavour. We do feel energetically recharged after them, don’t we?
In brief, there are ‘ways’ and ‘no ways’. We are free to choose. How we feel. How we do not feel. If a ’10 ways’ list makes me happy, I may even increase it with couple of my own ‘ways’. But I will never advertise it as the only ‘way’, “yes way”.